


Operation: Girlfriend

by Imcalledzorro



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Bad Matchmaking, Blind Date, F/M, Jack and Bozer are idots, Online Dating, dosen't actually find a girlfriend, mac is clueless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-04-24 06:50:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19168000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imcalledzorro/pseuds/Imcalledzorro
Summary: Jack and Bozer seem to think Mac can’t seem to take care of himself. So they appoint themselves as his personal matchmakers, and vow to find him a girlfriend to help him take care of himself. Let’s just say things don’t go as planned.





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Snowecat for looking this over for me! I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy this little story, if you do please leave a comment/kudos! Thanks! Set before No-Go + High Voltage + Rescue

Bozer opened the first door of his former residence, and announced his presence with a loud, “I’m back!” He expected to hear Mac shout back at him, but heard nothing but silence. That disturbed him a little since he had seen Mac’s Jeep in the driveway. So he walked down to his former bedroom to grab what he drove over for, and then checked Mac’s room. Nobody was in there and the bathroom door was open, still no Mac. He tried again, “Yo, Mac! Where are ya, man?”

“In here.” Mac’s voice came from the kitchen area. Bozer rounded the counter to see Mac sitting in from of the open pantry. He had several boxes of different instant food items scattered around him, and he was working on a string to a package of popcorn that Bozer’s parents had sent them from their trip to the Corn Palace in South Dakota.

Bozer frowned, trying to figure out what Mac was doing, “So what exactly are you doing?”

Mac looked up, and held up the bag for Bozer to see, “Well I was hungry so I came to try to find something to eat for lunch, then I discovered that a couple of things down here were expired, so I pulled them out to throw away. Then I found this bag, and have been trying to get the knot out so I could open it.”

Bozer blinked a few times, “Do you know what time it is?” He was confident in the fact that Mac didn’t have a clue.

Mac frowned and asked, “It’s like 2 or so right?” The expression on his face told Bozer that he was just taking a shot in the dark.

“Nope, it’s almost 5.”

Mac looked shocked and immediately looked at his watch, which did indeed confirm that it was actually 5. He looked so much like a lost puppy that Bozer had pity on him. “How about I whip us up something to eat and you find us something good to watch?”

Mac shot him a puzzled look from the floor. “Aren’t you supposed to be wowing Leanna with your cooking skills?”

Bozer shrugged, “Girl already knows I got mad skills, but she’s out with some friends or something. I needed to grab this.” He held up what he came over to get, which was actually just an excuse to check on Mac.

Mac narrowed his eyes at Bozer evidently trying to see if his friend was lying or not. After a second he shrugged, stood up, gathered the expired items and went to dispose of them. Bozer shook his head, turned around to take stock of what was left in the pantry, and then the fridge. After realizing that the fridge was also pretty bare, he decided to just order in.

“Hey Mac?” Bozer hollered not sure exactly where Mac had disappeared to.

“Yeah?” The response seemed to come from the vicinity of the back porch.

“So we’ve got a fat load of nothing, want the usual?”

“Which usual?” Bozer could hear Mac’s feet coming down the steps. “Pizza usual or Chinese usual?”

Mac held the empty boxes of the expired food items, so he must have been dumping the contents out for the wild animals. As Bozer gave thought to which cuisine sounded better Mac folded the boxes, putting them in the recycling.

“Chinese usual, haven’t had that in a while.”

Mac nodded, sliding his phone out of his pocket. After waiting a few minutes, he started rattling off their order in Chinese. Bozer always loved eating Chinese with Mac because the staff always loved an American who spoke Chinese; they would often wind up with some special dishes.

Pocketing his phone Mac checked his watch, “It should be here in about 20 minutes. Want to play some one on one?”

“You’re on! Just don’t start crying when I win!” Laughing the two friends went out to the basketball court.

Leaving Mac house a few hours later Bozer sent Jack a text. _Think you could video chat in about thirty minutes?_ About half way back to his house he got a thumbs up emoji. Arriving at his dark apartment, he was glad that Leanna was still out, because he knew that she would not like his plan. Then she would tell Riley who would tell Mac, thus ruining the whole secret part. He quickly got out his laptop, opening up his video chat, and waited for Jack to join. A few minutes later Jack’s face popped up on the screen.

Jack looked tired. The wall behind him gave nothing away about where he might be. He could be in Australia or in LA. “I don’t think you asked me to call just for you to stare at my handsome mug.” Jack sent a tired grin Bozer’s way.

“Sorry, just missed you.”

“You better have! I would hate to think I was so easily replaced. Speaking of my replacement what do ya’ll think of Desi?” Jack had a shit eating grin on his face.

“Your girl is _crazy_! She locked me in my trunk, and then slapped a sticker on my forehead!” He knew he sounded indignant, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing the wide grin, Bozer decided to tell him about Leanna and Riley’s introduction to the replacemnt, then about Matty’s revenge.

Jack was laughing so hard at this he had tears forming in his eyes. “That’s great! Mac told me that she caught him coming out of the shower. Dressed in just his towel”

His eyes widened, “He didn’t tell us that!”

Jack scoffed, “Of course he didn’t!” Settling down, he asked “So you didn’t want to talk to me just to catch up. What’s up?”

“I’m worried about Mac.”

Jack’s features sharpened, and he leaned into the camera. “What’s happened?”

Bozer shook his head, “Nothing like whatever you’re thinking. He’s fine. It’s just that I went over to grab something, and instead of having lunch he was sorting through the pantry, most of which was expired.” Bozer could see Jack starting to object and he went on. “It was almost five. Plus there weren’t enough ingredients in the fridge or pantry to sustain a goldfish, much less ‘I like to run for fun’ Mac.” He leaned back and crossed his arms.

Jack sighed, running a hand over his close-cropped hair. “Sounds like Mac, but what can we do about it?”

Bozer scrunched up his face, “I think I have an idea, but you gotta let me know if it’s too much.” Jack nodded. “I was thinking we could get him a girlfriend.”

Jack started at him, “You know it’s not like getting a puppy, right?”

Bozer rolled his eyes, “I’m aware of that thanks. I just worry it’s too soon after Nasha.”

Jack sat back in his seat slowly started to nod his head. “I like this idea. He needs to get back on that horse, but how are we gonna find him a girlfriend. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly available, and I’m not telling Dez to start dating Mac.”

Bozer reared back in revulsion, “Oh heck no! Ms. Trunk locker ain’t getting with my bro!”

Jack started laughing so hard he almost fell out of his seat. When he calmed down, he wheezed “I needed that!”

Bozer narrowed his eyes at Jack, “So why does Desi owe you a favor.”

Jack sobered up, “Not my story to tell. Let me guess: it’s driving Mac crazy.”

“Yes!”

Jack chuckled at that. “So how are we going to find Mac the perfect girlfriend?” They were both silently contemplating how to enact their plan. Then Jack snapped, “Why didn’t I think of it before, online dating! We can set him up a profile and pick the best ones for him! Boom!” Jack pantomimed dropping a microphone. Bozer nodded, so Jack continued. “We could use the same one I was using, Match.com. They’re supposed to be all scientificy about their matches.” Jack looked at his watch again. “I’ve got a little bit more time, so let’s get this started!” He rubbed his hands together in delight at his plan.

Bozer laughed, “Ok I’m pulling up the website now.” Bozer frowned, “so how are we going to both make a dating profile for Mac?”

Jack though about it for a second. “You make the profile. Then give me the e-mail and password. I’ll then log onto the app and we can pick our selections then.”

Bozer nodded in approval. “Well then let’s get started.”

The first few questions were easy. Mac was a male interested in a woman, he was about… Bozer frowned. “Hey Jack, how tall is Mac?”

Jack also frowned, then his brow furrowed in thought. “Well he is just a shade shorter than me so, 6’4?”

Bozer rolled his eyes, “Hardy freaking ha-ha. No seriously.”

Jack was wearing his trademark grin, “Shorty’s about 5’10 or so.”

Bozer rolled his eyes again and input the information. He was athletically built. He frowned at the next question. “So what are Mac’s interests?”

“Building bombs out of paperclips and chewing gum.”

“Sorry, I don’t see that one listed. Think that could be hobbies and crafts?”

Jack again started laughing, “Yes!”

Bozer smiled and clicked it, “OK we need four more.” He perused the selections. “How about camping, travel, volunteering, and museums, and art? I don’t see anything that deals with science.”

Jack’s head wobbled, “Sounds as good as any answers.”

Bozer selected the ones he mentioned, and went to the next selection. “Is Mac looking for something specific in a girlfriend? Like education, religion, how tall she should be, body type, or does she want kids.”

Jack tilted his head back and massaged his eyes. “I don’t think he cares about how a woman looks or her age. We both know he likes his women to have a brain, but college isn’t necessary. As for kids, I think I might remember his once saying he would like to have some little rugrats running around one day.” Jack then took another look at his watch. “Crap man, I’ve got to go. Send me that e-mail and password, ok? It was good seeing you Boze; make sure my Bruce Willis collection is safe.”

With that Jack was gone. Bozer sighed; he knew how much he missed Jack, so Mac must miss him a lot more than that. Maybe finding a girlfriend would help with some of that loneliness. He was just putting the finishing touches on Mac’s profile; he had found a picture of Mac that Riley and Leanna had said make him look like a ‘hotass’ to use as his profile picture. When Leanna returned he quickly shut down his laptop, and pulled out his phone to text Jack the information, trying his best to look as if he had just been relaxing because he knew the girls wouldn’t like this plan one bit.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac and Jack have a heart to heart & Mac goes on his first date with Jack's pick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to Snowecat for looking this over for me! As always I don't own MacGyver (too bad lol) Hope ya'll enjoy!

Riley, Mac, and Bozer had been down in the lab working on Sparky, again. Desi kept on making him do weird things, so Bozer had kicked her out of the lab, _again_. While Mac was carefully attaching a new part, Bozer asked, “So Mac would you want kids someday?”

Mac glanced up quickly frowning at Bozer. This was the third weird question he had asked in the past hour. “I don’t know, I guess someday? I haven’t really given it much thought, what with the way our lives are right now.”

Bozer hummed thoughtfully then asked, “So what would you describe as the perfect date?”

Mac opened his mouth to ask what had gotten into Bozer, but Riley beat him to it. “What’s with the 50 questions?” She narrowed her eyes at him, “Is this for a dating site?” Mac jerked his head back up at that and shot Bozer a panicked look.

Bozer had the sense to look embarrassed. “Maybe?” After some more staring from the both of them, Bozer cracked. “Fine, yes. Jack and I were talking, and we decided that Mac needed a girlfriend. I’m trying to narrow down the playing field.” He gave Mac a playful smile, “Brother, the girls love you!”

Riley snorted, but didn’t say anything. Mac fixed Bozer with a hard stare, “Thanks but no thanks. I don’t need a girlfriend.” Mac sighed, massaging the headache that suddenly blossomed behind his forehead. Standing he announced, “I’m going for a walk.” Mac proceeded to exit the lab, ignoring the punch Riley gave Bozer.

That night Mac was alone on his back porch, sipping a beer, watching the fire burn when his phone started buzzing. Tugging it out of his pocket he saw that it was Jack, which brought a smile to his face. Hitting the answer button he greeted his friend, “How’s the hunt?”

A tired sounding sigh came from the other end of the phone, “Long, tiring, and wishing I had a decent bed to sleep in.”

Mac opened his mouth to make a joke about Jack’s age, but Jack interrupted him, “And no jokes about how old I’m getting.”

Mac laughed at his friend’s indignation. “Man it’s good to hear your voice.”

“You too, brother.”                                                 

“Let me guess, Bozer texted you.” While it may have been a question, Mac said it as a statement.

“Let us help you get a date.”

“No.” Mac was getting more frustrated.

Another weary sigh, and the sound of rustling came over the phone. “Give me a good reason why not, and I’ll call Bozer off.”

Mac took a drink of his already warm beer. When he and Nasha decided to quit seeing each other, Jack had been down in South America, and Mac hadn’t wanted to talk about it when Jack had gotten back. “It’s just like with Nasha, Murdoc found her and used my love for her against me. I don’t want some enemy of mine to find and kill the woman I love just to spite me. So I figure it’s better to just not have anybody.” Mac was surprised that he felt better after getting that off his chest. He could hear Jack breathing over the line so he knew Jack was processing what he had just told him.

“Well Bud, you do have some very valid points, and I mean some very valid points. But who’s to say that future wife isn’t someone who could stand toe to toe with any baddie OR she could die driving home? I had a CIA bud that was so paranoid that his wife was going to get kidnapped or killed by someone after him. I mean like crazy, like tracking device in her shoe crazy, well the wife dies when a sinkhole opened underneath her car.” Jack paused a minute apparently waiting for Mac to say something, but when he didn’t Jack sighed and continued. “The point I’m trying to make is that we don’t know what will happen in the future. I just want you to be happy, and maybe not so lonely. I just want to make sure that you’re taken care of. Do you understand?”

Mac nodded, not wanting to speak because of how tight his throat was, but then realized that Jack couldn’t see him. “Yeah, I understand.”

Jack must have heard the emotion in his voice. “You ok?”

Mac used the hand not holding the phone to wipe the unshed tears from his eyes. Even from who knew how many miles away Jack was still watching out for him. “I’m good. All right you convinced me. Go ahead and find my perfect girlfriend, _but_ you both only have one choice each.”

Jack groaned from the other end. “You know you are a fun killer right Mac? How about two each? I found this spicy senorita….”

Mac cut him off before he could go too far, “One.”

From Jack’s end of the line all of a sudden Mac could hear chatter in the background then Jack came back on the line, “Ok one it is! Listen Bud, I’ve got to go. Stay safe, and listen to Desi.” With that Jack hung up. Mac set the phone down on the ground beside him. He may have just give permission for Jack and Bozer to play matchmaker, but he felt like a weight he didn’t know he had was lifted.

A few days later Mac’s phone buzzed in his pocket alerting him to an incoming text message. Pulling it out he saw that it was from Jack; it read only ‘Paintball LA 14:00 this Saturday, group date. Her name is Renee Bishop.’ followed by a string of emojis. Mac shook his head some things never changed. He slipped his phone back into his pocket continuing his way to the War Room. Riley and Bozer were already in there when he walked in.

“So you get the text about the group date?” Riley asked showing him her phone. “Billy wants to know how Jack got his number, and how he knew that he was in LA visiting me.”

Bozer shook his head, “Sometimes I don’t know who is scarier Jack or Matty.”

“It better be me.” Came a voice right behind Bozer.

Bozer yelped jumping a bit. While Riley and Mac busted out laughing Bozer asked, “Are you tryin’ to give me a heart attack, Boss Lady? Cause that’s a good way to do it!”

Matty stood there giving him the stink eye until Desi slipped in and took her seat, then Matty started the briefing.

Mac got to Paintball LA a little before 2 on Saturday. He slowly got out of his Jeep looking around the parking lot for any of his friend’s vehicles. He spotted Bozer and Leanna standing next to Riley’s vehicle, so he headed over. After greeting everybody he hesitantly asked, “So do any of you know what my mystery date looks like?” While Mac addressed the group he was specifically looking at Bozer.

Bozer held up his hands, “Hey man, this was all Jack. He wouldn’t tell me anything.” Bozer got a pouting look on his face. “He said I might cheat. How does one cheat on a dating profile?” Bozer looked genuinely perplexed at that thought, which caused Mac to laugh. Mac looked at his friends, and thought, _even if this date turns out to be a dud, we’ll still have fun._ He turned back into the conversation just in time to hear Leanna give a blanket apology for killing anybody, “So I might be a little completive.”

Bozer dropped her hand and stepped back, “Might?” His voice rose a couple of decibels, “You were celebrating at winning solitaire the other day!”

This got another chuckle from the group. Mac figured he might as well get this party started, so he started towards the main entrance of Paintball LA. He could hear his friends chatting behind him so he knew they had his back. Upon entering he cleared the doorway and looked around for his date. Mac spotted a woman standing by herself already decked out in the protective gear that paintballing required, and the couple of other people in the room were a obvious group, so he figured she was his date, that or his date was running late. Since she was typing something on her phone Mac took that chance to observe her. She had medium length brown hair that was pulled back in a high pony-tail. She had a thin runners build, and carried herself like a veteran. She seemed to have felt his staring because she looked up and locked eyes with him. A wide smile split her face, and she sauntered over.

Still smiling she proclaimed, “You have got to be MacGyver!” She gave him an obvious once over, “Just as pretty as your picture!”

Mac could hear Riley and Bozer crack up at that, but he pasted his best ‘nice to meet you’ smile and went to greet her. “You must be Renee.”

She flashed him a flirty smile, “Guilty as charged.” She looked past him, “And those must be the friends Jack was telling me about.” She gave them a little hand wave.

Mac turned and introduced them. “Renee, this is my best friend Bozer, his girlfriend Leanna, our coworker Riley, and her boyfriend Billy.” As Mac introduced each one Renee shook all of their hands. Mac noticed that both Bozer and Billy were trying to shake feeling back into their hands after shaking hers.

They all stood awkwardly for a few seconds before Renee spoke up, “So I hope everybody likes paintballing. Jack was kinda vague about what you liked to do MacGyver, but he said you liked sports so…” She trailed off

“I’ve actually never went paintballing. I don’t know about everybody else?”

Leanna was the only one to raise her hand. Renee grinned, “Well this should be fun! Let’s get everybody suited up.” She motioned for them to follow her to where one of the employees was waiting. He went over all the instructions, handed out the jerseys for the three teams; Renee and Mac, Leanna and Bozer, and Riley and Billy. Soon they were escorted out to the playing field which held corrugated tin walls, concrete barriers, and a two story structure.

The employee stated, “You are to play until one team is victorious. Once you are ‘killed’ go sit on the bleachers to continue watching the game. Ok go and remember to have fun!” With that he smiled and walked off.

Renee yanked Mac behind her, and took off for the two story façade. She looked back at Mac as they ran, “So who do you think we will take out first?”

Mac was caught off guard, “I…uh.…”

They reached cover of the structure; Renee pulled Mac flat against the wall. “I bet we get the short one, Boozer is it, first. He looks green. Cover me.”

With that she rapidly took the stairs, with Mac reluctantly trailing behind her. Once they reached to second story Renee flattened herself on the floor in a sniper’s position. When Mac didn’t get down beside her, she reached up and pulled him down beside her. “Don’t present yourself as a target! We are in it to win it!” She hissed.

Mac hit the ground harder than he expected, Renee was stronger than she looked. She must have noticed his hard landing, “Sorry, I’ve been taking Krav Maga on the weekends. So what do you do for fun?” Mac was starting to get the sneaking suspicion that Renee was not his perfect date, instead she was Jack’s perfect date. He was just about to answer when she started speaking again, “I think I see Boozer. Look behind the concrete piling on the far left.” Sure enough Mac recognized Bozer’s black shirt. “Let me see if I can draw a bead on him.” Mac watched as Bozer shifted a bit them Renee let out a stream of balls hitting up Bozer’s arm and back. Leanna leaned out behind cover shooting some paintballs their way.

“Score one for Renee. Don’t worry Mac; I’ll let you get the next one.” She gleefully scooted back to the stairs and exited the structure.

Mac sighed and followed behind her like a good little puppy. She made quick work of Billy, when he accidentally stepped out of cover for a second. Riley and Mac took each other out next, leaving only Leanna and Renee. As they were leaving the field Riley shoved up her mask, “So how’s it going?”

Mac took his mask off completely. “Well I’m pretty sure Renee would be Jack’s perfect date, unfortunately I don’t think she’s mine.”

“Don’t tell me she loves Bruce Willis too?”

“Oh yes. Well he is her second favorite actor right behind Chuck Norris.”

Riley stifled a laugh, “You’re right, she’s Jack’s perfect match.”

They lounged in the bleachers with Bozer and Billy while the four of them watched Leanna and Renee hunt each other like a cat and mouse. One would stalk the other, then the roles would reverse. Bozer moaned, “If this doesn’t end soon I’m gonna expire from hunger.” It finally ended when Leanna stealthy climbed to the second story and caught Renee when she was moving from her cover. Afterwards Mac and Renee went their separate ways, without so much as a see you later.

Mac was again on his back porch this time he was leaning on the railing just watching the city below, and waiting for the call he knew he would be getting. He watched as a coyote appeared out of the trees below and made its path towards some garbage cans behind a house down the hill. He was debating on going into his room to grab the binoculars when his phone finally rang. Without even looking at the caller ID he answered, “Hey Jack.”

He heard a chuckle then Jack’s voice came over the line, “I bet you’re sitting by the fire just waitin’ for my call.”

Mac glanced around, half convinced that somewhere Jack had a satellite fixed on him at that moment. “Close, no fire this time.”

“One out of two isn’t bad. So how’d it go?”

“Not so great, but she would make a great date for you.”

“Really?”

Mac could hear the interest in his partner’s voice. He chuckled, an easy smile coming to his face. “Yes, really. She even likes Bruce Willis, but not as much as Chuck Norris.”

“Well that can be forgiven. I mean the man is a Texas Ranger.”

“We are not starting that conversation again.”

Jack’s chuckle this time was softer, “I’m sorry Mac. I had hoped that if I found a woman version of myself then maybe ya’ll would get along just like we eventually did. Sorry man.”

Mac shook his head at Jack’s logic, “It’s fine, maybe you will have better luck with Renee.”

Jack hesitated before answering, “Are you sure that would be ok? It wouldn’t be weird or something?”

Mac thought for a minute, deciding that it wouldn’t be weird at all. “Nope, just don’t forget to give me the credit at the wedding, actually don’t worry about it. I’ll be sure to work it into my best man speech.”

“Ha, ha.” Jack paused for a second then, “Hey Bud, I’ve got to. Let me know how Bozer’s date goes. Bye.”

Then he was gone. Mac sighed, putting his cell back down on the railing looking for the coyote he has spotted before, but like Jack the coyote was gone.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac's second date.

The team caught a mission before Bozer could get his date scheduled, but on the plane ride back Bozer got the details ironed out. Riley was watching something on her laptop while Desi was dozing in a window seat. Mac was stretched out on the couch while Bozer sat across from him.

“You’re gonna love this one Bro. She fine! I mean like super fine!” He stopped and looked around. Mac assumed he was checking that Leanna wasn’t around. When he was assured that she wouldn’t show up he continued. “AvaLee works in a museum, but has aspirations to be an actress.” Bozer offered Mac his phone which had a picture of her pulled up. She was a looker indeed. If Mac could have crossed Nasha and Nikki she would have been the result, with caramel colored skin, big blue eyes, straight brown hair, and straight white teeth. He swiped through the rest of the photos that she had uploaded on the dating app. Impressed with what he saw he handed the phone back to Bozer.

“Your right, so did you set a time and place for the date?”

Bozer nodded, “Got ya covered Bro. I’ll forward you the details.” Bozer quickly tapped on his phone and soon Mac’s phone dinged with the details.

Mac looked over the details, “Movie and dinner?”

Bozer shrugged, “its typical date material for a reason.”

“Ok, so let’s just hope that another mission doesn’t pop up.” He let out a huge yawn. “I think I’m going to get some shut eye before we get back to LA.” With that he closed his eyes and let his aching body relax into sleep.

Pulling into the movie theater Mac realized that he was actually nervous. On his first date he had his friends there to help ease the tension, but this time he was by himself. Bozer had said for them to meet in front of the theater, and as he approached he saw AvaLee waiting, and she was as flawless in person as in her pictures. Smiling he introduced himself.

“Hi, I’m Mac. You wouldn’t happen to be AvaLee would you?”

AvaLee smiled and extended her hand, which Mac took. “I would indeed. You are just as cute as your pictures led me to believe.” Mac felt vaguely uncomfortable at the way her eyes roved over him.

“Thanks? So are you looking forward to the latest Marvel movie?” Mac certainly was. He had loved the comic books as a child, and been thrilled when Iron Man had come out. He and Bozer went to see it in their little hometown theater no less than five times.

AvaLee graced him with a smile, “It’s your call sugar.”

Mac knew his eyebrows climbed into his hairline, she linked her arm with his and guided him into line. When they got up to the counter Mac told the cashier, “two for the Marvel movie, and….” He trailed off not knowing if AvaLee wanted anything.

“Nothing for me. I can’t keep this figure and have snacks.” She giggled.

“A small popcorn, and two waters then.”              

“Do you want butter on the popcorn?” The bored cashier intoned; clearly having asked this same question no less than a thousand times that day alone.

“Yes, please.” Mac had used to get it plain until he met Jack. The first time they had went to the movies together Jack had shook his head and showed Mac the ‘right’ way to get his popcorn full of butter and salt. Now Mac wouldn’t have it any other way, even though he knew it isn’t that great for him.

He noticed that AvaLee had wrinkled her cute little nose at the request of butter, and in his mind he could hear his inner Jack say ‘strike one’. He did his best to ignore that voice. Once they had their concessions and were settled onto their seats Mac tried to strike a conversation. “So Bozer tells me that you work in a museum.”

She rolled her eyes. “That old place. It’s just my day job until I finally make it as an actress full time. I bet you’ve seen my mouthwash commercial. I was the smiling mouth at the very end. See.” She demonstrated her smiling capability.

Mac was saved from answering by the movie starting. He draped his arm over top of her seat to mostly stretch it out because in the last mission he had wrenched it, so keeping it in one position too long hurt. She grabbed his arm and placed it around her shoulders snuggling into his side. He could work with that. The movie had been playing for a while when an actress appeared on the screen. AvaLee hissed quietly, “That little bitch couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag!” Mac looked at her in surprise. AvaLee glared at the screen, “I would have been so much better in it.”

Mac thought the nameless actress was doing a good job, but decided not to say anything. The movie continued, when the actress appeared again. “She, right there she flubbed her lines. I would never make such a rookie mistake.” She whispered in Mac’s ear.

And on it went anytime that particular actress was on screen. Mac was thankful when the movie was over. AvaLee glanced down at her phone as soon as the credits started to roll. He had noticed her using her Apple watch a few times during the movie and was thankful she wasn’t rude enough to pull her phone out during the movie.

“So my agent just texted me, and she needs me to do an audition ASAP. So how about I just meet you at the Melting Pot?” She bit her lower lip all coquettishly clearly trying to entice him to say yes.

“That’s fine. I understand with work and all.” He really did understand having to run at a moment’s notice.

She graced him with a mouthwash worthy smile, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll be right to the restaurant. Ciao!” with that she pranced out of the theater. Mac watched several other men staring at her as she walked by.

With a sigh, he plopped back into his seat, he didn’t want to miss the after credits scenes after all. When they were over he contemplated what to do with the time he had to kill between now and when their reservation was. When he had asked Bozer why the large gap between the movie and dinner, Bozer had first tried to spin it as getting to know you time, but then gave it up that it was the first reservation time they had.   Mac finally decided to head to the restaurant find a parking space, and get caught up on e-mails and results on some of his experiments.

Mac was sitting in his Jeep extremely bored out of his mind when he realized that it was ten till their reservation. So locking his car he headed into the restaurant. The hostess who greeted him was much more enthusiastic than the cashier at the movie theater had been.

“Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, MacGyver.”

She searched though her computer for a second. Looking up she asked, “Is all of your party here yet?”

He glanced around the room, there was only one other person sitting in the waiting area, and it wasn’t AvaLee. “No.”

She gave him a plastic smile, “If you will have a seat over in the waiting area, I’ll seat you when all of your party gets here.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and instead stepped over to the waiting area and had a seat near the other person waiting. He glanced over the dark hair woman. She was full figured, wearing knee high lace up boots, ripped jeans, and a nice black top. She gave off a very rock ‘n roll vibe, one he was sure that Jack would appreciate. As he sat down she looked up from her phone giving him a smile. “Relegated to the ‘not full party here yet’ section too’?”

He smiled back, “Yep. Hopefully the rest of my party shows up soon.”

“It’s not too bad over here. I haven’t been flogged yet.” She gave him another smile.

“That’s always good.” He agreed with a chuckle, at least she had a sense of humor; it was always awkward trying to talk to someone with no humor.

She sized him up, and apparently decided he looked like a good conversationalist because she asked, “So, come here often?”

That made him laugh, “No, actually it’s my first time at a Melting Pot.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Hello newbie! Let me, an expert; guide you through your dining decisions tonight. I know some people want to skip the meat portion, but don’t! I mean you wouldn’t think that boiling meat in a broth would be good, but it’s excellent!”

Mac nodded, “Any more recommendations?”

She gave a thoughtful look before replying, “So have you ever had fondue before?” He had to admit that he hadn’t. “Ok so there are four courses here. You can choose all four or just a couple. I would recommend the four courses. You will leave feeling like you never want to see another piece of food again, but it will be _so_ worth it.”

Mac frowned, “I know they have the cheese, you told me about the meat, and of course the chocolate, but what is the fourth course?”

“It’s a salad course. My sister and dad swear by their Caesar salad, while I prefer the house salad, with their garlic & wine seasoning in place of a dressing.”

That sounded intriguing to Mac. “Since you are the expert what would you recommend for the other courses?”

She grinned like he had just given her the nicest complement. “My two favorite cheeses are the Classic Alpine, which is the classic fondue cheese, and the quarto formaggio. My sis and I like to share it. It has basil pesto in it that knocks it out of the ballpark. You know my salad rec. So do you like a variety of meats or more into steak?”

Mac really enjoyed how she was really into giving him advice on what to order. “Variety.”

She nodded, “Then you can’t go wrong with The Classic. As for chocolate, I like dark chocolate, and fire. So I tend to get the flambéed items. The sister and I like to do the S’mores, while I split the flaming turtle with my dad. And yes, they are both flambéed items.”

He grinned, he had to agree, anything that had to be set on fire was fine with him. He opened his mouth to ask her another question when a shadow fell over him. Looking up he noticed it was AvaLee.

“Aww Sugar, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.” She crooned.

Looking over to thank his waiting companion, he watched her expression go from one of happiness to nothing. “Thanks for the recommendations.”

She kind of smiled, and waved at him as AvaLee pulled him up and after the hostess. “ _Dang it_ ” he thought, “ _I didn’t even get her name_.”

The hostess seated them in a cozy booth near the back of the restaurant. AvaLee smiled charmingly at Mac, “I hope you weren’t waiting long. It took longer than I thought it would. The director just _had_ to meet me.” She giggled and threw her hair over her shoulder.

Mac supposed it was supposed to be a appealing gesture, but he wasn’t feeling it. Politely he asked, “So I take it the audition went well?”

She rolled her eyes, “Of course it did, darling. Everybody loves me.”

Mac was trying he really was. After that disastrous first date with Renee, he really wanted this to work out. Thankfully the waiter took that moment to appear. The evening went downhill for Mac from there. AvaLee didn’t want to eat any of the ‘fattening’ items that Mac was looking forward too. She only wanted the cheese, ‘only veggie dippers please’ and the salad. The whole time they were eating she just talked about herself and all the auditions she was going to be going on or that she had been gypped out of. When they finally left, he let out a sigh of relief; he really didn’t think he could have made it through all four courses with her. He smiled and waved when he saw his waiting companion. She at least seemed to be having a good time.

Upon arriving home Mac threw a Hot Pocket in the microwave, and then went to watch Netflix in his room to unwind from his date. He had just pressed play when his phone started playing that annoying ringtone that Jack insisted on.

“Hey, Jack.” Answering the phone didn’t stop Mac from taking a bite of the Hot Pocket, which lived up to its name by burning his mouth. He must have made some sort of sound.

“You ok, Bud?” Jack sounded worried. “I was just calling to see how the date went.”

Mac quickly swallowed the bite. “Yea, I’m fine. Just bit into a Hot Pocket that was still hot.” Jack chuckled. Mac may have done that a time or twenty before. “Yeah, this date was worse that the first.” Mac could just see the expression that Jack had to be making. He sighed, “She was like super-hot.”

“Oh I know. Bozer may have sent me a pic. Girl is a stunner.”

Mac huffed, “Yeah, but she is a narcissist. During both the movie and supper all she could talk about was herself. _And_ , she was super picky about what she ate. She didn’t even want any of the movie popcorn.”

“That’s just wrong!”

“I know right!”

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” Mac started to say something, but Jack continued, “In both myself and Bozer. We thought we could find you somebody to share your life with, but both bombed. I’m sorry Bud.” Mac could hear the sorrow In Jack’s voice.

“It’s ok. It got me out of the house and my head for a while.” He shrugged and took another bite of the now cooler Hot Pocket. “So how goes thing on your side of the world?” The two of them chatted for a while before hanging up. Later as Mac pressed play on his Netflix movie he decided it could have been a worse day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I don't own MacGyver, and a thanks to SnoweCat for looking this over!  
> I really seemed to miss the mark on this story, if you wouldn't mind letting me know why, I'd appreciate it. Hopefully I can do better next time. Speaking of next time, as a bit of shameless self promotion my next story up will be the last part of my MacGyver & Stargate crossover. Hopefully ya'll enjoy that.

The next day back in the Phoenix lab Bozer fixed Mac with a laser like stare. “Ok, so why didn’t this date work again? She was….” He stopped and looked around for, Mac was assuming Leanna, then continued. “Fine as wine! She was like a perfect combo of Nikki and Nasha, you said so yourself!”

“And she talked about herself all evening. Like seriously Boze I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.”

Riley who up until that time had been quietly eavesdropping on her friends let out a snort of laughter. Both the men turned to look at her. “What?” She hands up in the I come in peace way. They both continued to stare at her. “Well fine then. So both you and Jack set up Mac here.” She gestured at her blonde friend. “On dates, which bombed in a spectacular fashion I might add.” Another glare from Bozer. “But why?”

Both sets of eyes turned to Bozer. His eyes grew wide and he started stuttering out an answer. “ Bec… I … it….” He stopped apparently flustered. Sighing he sat down on his stool. “So a couple of weeks ago, I went to pick up something, and Mac was just sitting in front of the pantry with no clue what time it was, and who knows how long it had been since he had eaten. I just thought if he had a girlfriend that either she could make sure she fixed him something to eat or … I don’t know.” He threw his hands up resigned.

Mac’s frown deepened. “So you tried to find me a girlfriend because you thought I couldn’t take care of myself?”

Bozer just shrugged.

“The man does have a point.” Riley threw in.

“I’ll have you both know that I managed to survive through two years of college, and a stint in the Army before you moved in with me Bozer.” Mac was mad, that two of his closest friends thought he was incapable of taking care of himself.

“That’s not what….” Bozer tried explaining.

“Stop!” Riley commanded. They both stopped to turn to look at her. “Now let me see if I have this correct.” She turned to fully face Bozer. “You wanted to make sure Mac eats and takes care of himself since you and Jack aren’t there to help anymore correct?” Bozer nodded his head. Then turning to Mac, “You know you get lost in your head or an experiment and forget to eat or lose track of time quite often.” Mac attempted to protest, but Riley glared at him.

“Yeah, fine sometimes I forget to eat.” Mac admitted.

Turning back to Bozer, “So if Mac had a surefire way to make sure to eat without burning down the house you and Jack wouldn’t worry as much, correct?” Riley asked.

“Well I can’t speak for Jack, but yeah.” Bozer nodded his posture relaxing.

“Ok then this has a simple answer.”

“It does?” Both Mac and Bozer asked simultaneously.

“Yep.” Riley popped the p at the end of yep. Both men looked at her expectantly. “So last year Jill introduced several of us who were living by ourselves to a friend who was starting up a ready-to-eat business. It’s called Calli’s Kitchen, and the premise is that Calli has a menu of about 7 meals and you tell her how many of which meal you want for the week. Since there are several of us from The Phoenix who order we rotate who picks up the whole order, and reheating instructions are inside. It’s easy, affordable, and tasty.” Riley ticked each item off with her fingers before she shrugged, “what’s not to love?”

Bozer frowned at her, “Why didn’t any of us know this before?”

“Well you didn’t need it before. You fixed food for you and Mac, Jack either ate with you guys or ate out. I don’t know if Jill told everybody or only the ones she thought might be interested.” Riley shrugged. “Step over here and I’ll show you the website.” Both men stepped over and Riley took them through the ordering process.

Bozer was inspecting the picture of the food and rereading the description. “You said this is good?” The doubt was fairly dripping from his voice.

Riley sighed, “Well I was saving this for my lunch, since I didn’t want to go to the cafeteria, but I guess I’ll let you try it for yourselves.” She got up to head to the fridge in the back of the room, and soon the microwave could be heard running.

“So I guess I owe you an apology.” Bozer started, but Mac interrupted.

“No, you were doing what you thought was best for me, and I appreciate that. But next time maybe consult me before you or Jack cook up a crazy plan like this again.” Mac smiled at his best friend to show him that there were no hard feelings.

“You got it former Roomie!”

Riley came back, holding a black plastic container in one hand and some silverware in the other. She set down the food on the table in front of them. “This is the beef tips over rice with green beans.” She pushed the food towards them and handed the both of them a fork. Bozer quickly dug in, while Mac was a bit more reserved. But both men’s expressions lit up when the flavors hit their mouth.

“This is really good!” At least that’s what Mac though Bozer was saying with his mouth still full. Mac nodded in consent.

Riley grinned at the two of them, “So I take it that you would be interested in get a few?” She asked sardonically

After chewing and swallowing, Mac answered her, “Most definitely.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Mac sat in his Jeep drumming his fingers to an unknown beat. He had signed up for Calli’s Kitchen just that last week, and since it was his first order somehow he had been voted to pick up the Phoenix’s large order. He saw a Buick Enclave pull to a stop right in front of him, and the lady from the Melting Pot’s waiting room hopped out.

“Hi! I’m Calli, Matty said they were sending a ne….” She trailed off stopping midsentence when she saw Mac.

Smiling and sticking out his hand, “I’m sorry we didn’t get each other’s name the other night. I’m Mac.”

Calli automatically stuck out her hand and shook the one Mac had proffered. She seemed to shake herself out of the brief stupor. “And I’m Calli, who has a lot of meals to give to you.” The two chuckled. “If you will follow me I’ll grab ya’lls orders. So how did your date go? At least I’m assuming it was a date.”

Mac could tell she was only asking to be polite, he decided to tell her the truth, “Horrible, she shouldn’t stop talking about herself.”

Calli let out a bark of laughter, then slapped a hand over her mouth. “Gah, I am so sorry! That was very rude of me!”

Mac smiled at her, “You’re forgiven.”

They made quick work of getting the meals from her vehicle to his Jeep. Calli leaned in to the Enclave, pulling out a business card. Offering it out to him she said, “Here is my number if you need any help with the meal or _anything_ else.” Callie’s cheeks turned a light pink. Mac took the card; Calli gave him a shy smile. She started to climb into the vehicle, but stopped and turned around abruptly. “Oh I keep forgetting, could you tell Matty thank you for the dinner reservation? My sister and I really enjoyed the meal! Thanks!” She waved and then proceeded to climb back into her vehicle and hastily drove off.

Mac’s mind whirled around that new piece of information, and he began to put a few pieces together. Upon arriving at the Phoenix Foundation he quickly got all the meals delivered beside for Matty’s. He wanted to personally deliver hers. Lifting the box that was labeled Matty Webber he first tried the War Room, and when it was empty proceeded to her office. After knocking and receiving permission to enter he laid the box beside her desk.

“Thanks, Blondie.” She murmured, as she continued to work on the paperwork she had spread over her desk. When Mac didn’t leave she looked up, “Do you need a gold star for delivering it?”

Mac chuckled at the thought of Matty handing out gold stars every time they did something right. Well, now that he actually thought about it, it might work really well with Jack.

Matty’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, “Did you need something Mac?”

Startled he shook his head. “Calli wanted me to tell you thank you for the reservations, and I want to thank you too.”

Smirking she looked back down at her papers. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Blondie. Now scoot, I’m not paying you to stand around brown nosing.”

+_+_+_+_+

Matty smiled as Mac shut the door on his way out. She wasn’t sure if her little plan would work. After Jack told her about their plan she decided to throw her own player into the game. She had met Calli through Jill and thought she was an amazing young lady, who often lamented about her single status. The hard part had been making sure that her and Mac met. After two strikes, the Melting Pot meet had gone off without a hitch. She had to admit she was pretty proud of herself. Grabbling her cell off her desk, she typed out a quick text to Jack, ‘Matty-1, Jack-0”

 

 


End file.
